Sadhu with a Credit Card ... excerpt from my future book

I called him the monk. I called him the demon. I called him my friend, a most unusual human being to say the least with the qualities of a Buddha, except for one integral part, compassion. Loving compassion for the human being was exempt from his person. He said he hated human beings, especially Indians. He called them stupid. Meeting such a one as he was seemingly an accidental circumstance.

I had been sitting next to Prasad, My favorite temple priest, who gave me my healing coconut on my first visit to Ganeshpuri in 2005. I’ve been indebted to him since he handed me the ‘blessed at babas’ feet’ coconut and instructed me to retreat to my room and eat each and every part of the inner coconut while I sang / chanted, making up my own song for Bade Baba. The miracle made my illness vanish or at least retreat into a ten year remission, so far, through faith in the healing power of Bhagavan Nityananda. We will get into that part in a little bit …

Prasad, on various occasions would spontaneously sit next to me in an empty temple while I recited the guru gita, or while I was performing my rudimentary monkey yoga stretching  (as the monk called it) after my hot spring bath. Babas kunde, or hot springs were just outside the darshan temple hall and baba had a reason for instructing his devotees to bathe there before presenting themselves to him in the hall.) (insert info) at that time I was in every way open hearted, blown away by the energy, completely drawn to and healed in his temple each and every time I sat there.  My dearest Great grandfather guru, Bhagavan Nityananda who would allow me to sit in his temple and contort my body and let out sounds of sighing and yawn and stretch some more. 

One of the ‘knowing’ moments for me connecting to this ‘dead’ guru was being able to relax into the space enough to begin the yawning process, the true doorway for me to relax enough to let go of some of my minds activity. This always happened while sitting with Mark. That diving into the breath … allowing it to slowly deepen and fill my belly … honoring, being completely in the moment honoring that breath as God, honoring each sip with gratitude… each pausing of the breath, resting, allowing the emptiness or the stillness to produce that final burst of energy spontaneously, all I had to do was have the thought of gratitude, I call the atom exploding with bliss. Those atoms and the explosion happening ONLY in the empty space between the breaths, more on that later, but for now just know that doing this on a daily basis. Saying hi to God, recognizing that my only connection to him on this physical earth was to receive him through my breath. This is what transforms the molecules of my DNA on a daily basis… this is why I am alive and many times have more energy and life-force running through me than your average 20 year old... and finally the full vessel of expanded awareness… in that I would remain … happy … and finishing with that yawn, sometimes audible sometimes just a stretching of my jaw (In that connection some other longer sips of oxygen could arise spontaneously and I would be honoring each breath through this very slow movement … Hey I can relate to my acting movement classes in NYC and our relaxation stretches.. Temple time is keeping me alive. I explained it to someone like this. When I sit with Mark Griffin I am aware of the deep bellows breath for the first 40 minutes or so I am working … yawning, sighing, stretching, but actively working … when I sit with Bhagavan Nityananda, at least in the early days, I did nothing to receive these waves after waves of bathing my soul in pure love and bliss.

My habit was to sit under the last fan before the exit. It was daytime and our first introduction, while Prasad was discussing with me the possibility of using one of my rooms for his music school, the monk entered and sat beside Prasad listening, with a curious smile, beguiling, beaming in his eyes, his head shaven at that time. I was shocked though by his teeth, rotted to the core, appearing as if it had been decades since he last brushed his teeth. I would find out later that he took on the appearance of a beggar, a delinquent, in order to shun the people away from him. He said they were always there and it was those voices seeking liberation from their suffering that kept him from sleeping at night. He said he retreated at one time to a monastery named ‘high hill top’, in Nepal, a very secret place. He said he stayed for an extended visit just to learn the techniques from one special Tibetan monk who helped him learn to turn the voices on and off. Yes there were times he listened, while at his house burning match boxes in the middle of his hall to perform yagnas for those yearning to be liberated from the Bardo, or intermediary dimensions, some of which were the hell realms. In other words, those stuck between rebirths. Or as we like to call them, ghosts.

Early on I would only see him as he came in for darshan with Baba, never going to the feet, but sitting near the front for a few minute visit. He would make a point to catch my eye as he left, giving me that all knowing look that I came to admire and love and fear.

I was working with my first sadhu, Rajeev, who said he had been sent to Ganeshpuri to teach Nityananda yoga and exclaimed that baba sent him there to teach me. I let him share my room, my food and my cigarettes for 11 days. We would practice his calisthenics at the kunde and I would sit after breathing in each limb with the mantra, ‘who am I’ … on the eleventh day he asked me to deposit money in his bank account monthly after returning home from a trip to buy ganga (on my rupees) and for him NOT me. He would be the first of many such charlatans to cross my path, each and every time I was gullible enough to be ‘taken’ by them. When the monk found us sitting across from one another at the baba canteen, he took the opportunity to confront the man by asking him, ‘by whose authority have you been given the right to teach yoga in the name of Bhagavan Nityananda’. The sadhu left abruptly from the village. I was mesmerized a second time by the monks persona.

After a few weeks I was invited to go to Gujarat and receive the initiation from Baba Shivanandaji for the siddha healing mantras. My healer friend, Rajan, had traveled all across India following his guru to the various trainings and the previous year I had been sent by baba to Bangalore to receive the teachings for the first time. I was intrigued and went, but found the crowd of 5000 to be terribly amusing, crying and making howling noises when the guru went into his production of rolling his eyes back to show only the whites… I did receive something from this guru. I was featured sitting in lotus in the one of the aisles and became a topic of discussion in my village, unbeknownst to me, as Shivananada had his own tv channel.  You see I too had been captured with my eyes rolling back. 

Tapping into the ocean of Bliss that resides in every human being is really no big deal ~ its there for each and every one of us and the rolling back of the eyes is certainly not necessary. Sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn’t. its just a practice of focusing the attention on the agni point (or the control center of the psychic apparatus).

When I returned to the village I was practicing daily the siddha healing mantras in the temple with great fervour~ the bliss, the connection to shiva~ the healing ~ all magnanimous. It was a short time there after, maybe not even a week of doing my new practice that the monk came up to me in the temple and asked me to meet for a short talk. He said, “my friend, someday you are going to be a Great Healer, you will be giving vajra empowerments, but for now you Must stop all of your healing practice as you are only sending these people your bad karma. I had no idea of the word he spoke ‘vajra’ it completely escaped me but later I learned that my guru Mark, who had been Kalu Rinpoche’s disciple, was in fact, a Vajra Master, the Lightening Bolt path of the shaktipat from a siddha guru directly to the disciple, this is and was a secret terminology for his ‘shaktipat’ initiations. When we get into the tantra, simply put, Tibetan and Hindu Tantra is one and the same. Different words and perhaps the Tibetans came up with a better more comprehensive way of writing the texts. That’s another argument. For here I shall simply say, I am, by way of karma and root guru, in a complicated vortex of energies that are actually ONE and the SAME !!!

But I diverge. The monk said he saw what I was doing in the temple the week prior, when I felt such an immense heat come over me. I had been practicing my new Sri Vidya, the siddha healing mantras that Bhagavan Nityananda had brought to me through two different teachers. He saw me from many kilometres away from Ganeshpuri. In his minds eye, yes, or as he described a term called scathing, entering the body of an insect or animal to view a scene from a far off. He was not amused knowing the shaktim was spreading his bad karma with his unperfected healing practice.

For some reason the sweeper lady pointed toward me and a woman with her crippled child moved toward my area and sat only inches away from me, her son in between us, his gnarled legs and the souls of his feet twisted toward me. Heat came over me as I started to pray for him. Such an immense heat I thought I could explode. That’s when I felt the urge to lay my hands on the crippled boy. I told myself “NO, that’s just ego, you can do the sri vidya for him in your prayers with you’re your eyes closed” I fought myself and that little voice kept urging, ‘no, touch him’… I looked up at Nityananda, his statue that lays over his grave, his gold murti and thought, baba this thought is not from me. This must be from you because it is unrelenting. 

When I laid my hands on his legs, I felt a quick rush of energy through my crown chakra…the weight of the guru was palpable, a sudden movement from the boy expressed his receiving the gift baba was giving him. I kept at the mantra, but prayed only that baba could please give him decreased pain and a way to become happy in this form of his. I did not pray for a miracle of untwisting his figure. But the monk had an entirely different perspective on the laying of hands on another person explaining cruelly that because I was not perfected, this practice must cease immediately at the feet of Bade Baba. He seemed very angered by my simple gesture of sharing what to me were miracle mantras. 

That’s when I began to think He was Nityananda in Rudra form here to correct me. There were many more clues as he seemed to know each and every detail of a Baba Nityananda that is not written about, including that as part of his Nath initiation in the Himalayas he was required to eat meat and drink liquor. If I should say that aloud in Ganeshpuri today I would surely be thrown out. But I listened, fascinated as he said Nityananda was Matsyendranath who created Gorakshanath out of dust. 

I listened as he would spout out these what seemed to be endless sermons on how each and every detail of my life should be properly attended to. He even came to teach me how to cut my vegetables with love. I did my practice and prayers for the boy and silently got up and nodded to the mother. I Left in a daze and walked home feeling as if the blessing baba just gave me was a completion stage event to my 10 plus years training as a siddha aspirant. I know something happened for the better, but I did not have to listen to the monk as the very next time I tried to call the symbols and mantras, NOTHING happened. He, the monk, had Cut my healing energies. 

I succumbed to his training and went to the various places he instructed me to go, but almost always I failed. He kept saying the enlightenment is beyond the physical bliss. He said he did not believe in all of this talk about the bliss of meditation. Later he said he was in a realm, beyond the physical bliss, but oddly, he could explain each detail of HOW to breathe to connect the different bindus to the bliss, both the right and left hand paths.

 ~end of excerpt~

a friend asked me ... how do you manage? You should write about your experiences ~

who am i …

a friend wrote me  … “how do you manage? You should write and share about your experience.” i wrote by the grace of the guru lineage and the holy siddhas I am approaching 4 years with NO Western Medicine for the 18 year ‘present’ of choosing to take on HIV.

Who am I? This question is a meditation for me currently. When I ask that question to myself out loud, like a mantra, heat explodes within me and my body vibrates … this primal, pure energy, I can only describe as an instant healing effect.

Going to Nepal was a road that was paved with blessing after blessing; Two months and a week. Introducing myself to my Grandfather Tibetan Guru, Kalu Rinpoche, in meditation as I circumabulated around the Stupa at Kopan Monastery. Meeting a High Lama and receiving his darshan, being set on a new mantra for the mother goddess, which, after the two months in the monastery, took me to meet the mother goddess cave at Pashupathinath. The baba caretaker was a ‘white aghori’ as he claimed he did indeed meet the mother goddess who is teaching him, but not by the ordinary Aghori ways.

He told me after he agreed to allow me to meditate in the cave, the day I was leaving, he said, “I’ve been here 10 years doing puja for the Mother Goddess Cave where Durga and MaaKali reside and never have I allowed anyone to meditate in this cave. He still could not understand why this ‘foreigner’ got to sit there. He gave me his personal mala and invited me to return.

One day, while I was in this Aghori Baba’s Cave, sitting in my own little cell with a gate that he kept locked, a strange man appeared all in this Turmeric, Orangish / Yellowish Swami Clothing. A Young man, younger than i. I had never seen these colors before, but they were quite regal and stunning. He opened the cave door and asked to enter. He approached me rather quickly, sitting very close to me and in a hush he claimed that he was sent to give me something that I had wanted for a long time. With that, he put a light to his mouth and curled up his tongue as it reached to the very back of his mouth and up behind his Uvuala. I let out a gasp. Indeed, for more than 2 years I have been working with this meditation practice, part of Hatha Yoga, called Ketchari.

The saying goes, this Khecarī Mudrā, "name of Yogic posture which bestows spiritual attainment and enables one to overcome disease and death."

As he left he bowed and said, “May Gorakshnath be with you always”. I gasped again, this time in a whimper, stopping my tears. Why did those words affect me so much? I did not know immediately.

Later that day I requested to go to the asharm where the Turmeric Clad Swami had come from. Off we went through the Pashupathinath aarti, early evening. About 20 minutes later after all the stairs up, we came across a temple that resembled my Bhagavan Nityananda’s Samadhi Shrine in Ganeshpuri as well as his temple in his first ashram at Kanhangad, South India. I stood still hoping to meet the young swami again. Instead, I was taken inside, the dim candlelight did not shine brightly enough as I was guided to a set of stairs that led to a loft where the kitchen was. We were asked to sit during the aarti. With my head resting on the wall behind me, I had the instant recognition from the pounding of the drums and the tone of the Bell ringing … I was IN Ganeshpuri. This was my Bhagavan Nityananda. I could not explain but had heard that Bhagavan Nityananda was Matchendranath. He was also Krishna and as the ‘story’ goes, Krishna was Jesus. That’s another Note.

My guide and I came down the stairs while the aarti was still going on as he wanted to get back to our camp. As we passed around the Temple watching the Bell ringer, who had matted hair down to his rear, we started off the same way we entered, but something stopped me. I turned around and said, “I can’t leave, my guru is HERE”. He could not understand and I was not able to speak further.

So he sat with me as I gazed off at the temple steeple. After some time, the swami monk from earlier came near. He spoke and I could not hear him with the bells rigning, or with my predisposed amazement at the recognition that this was Really my Bhagavan Nityananda. I motioned something I don’t remember. He smiled and off he went.

When I got home to Ganeshpuri, I was Still in Nepal. I was completely changed and could still see the river I sat by for a week doing my guru gita and staring across at the cliff with the monkeys meandering about doing their own kind of yoga ~

My monk said I met my master in Nepal and his job was done.

I am looking forward to discovering just who this master is. Was he in the Guru Rinpoche cave that I sat in doing my practice for all sentient beings and reaching up to lay my hand where his hand had made an  impression in the rock? Is it Baba Sunil, the white Aghori monk from the Goddess Cave who reminded me so much of Tilopa? Will it be the High Lama on the Tibetan Buddhist side of my lineage? Or was it the old man who was crippled, who landed right in front of the goddess cave. When I fed him and gave him water, he invited me to a place where I could ‘really’ do my 40 days of penance? The monk is not telling me, as usual he plants the seeds and destiny does its own work.

‘Don’t force the mind’, Bhagavan Nityananda’s words, spoken by my monk.

Listen, I am just a simple man who has trampled death and hiv by ONE Simple Trick. ‘Breathing with Intention’.

Through yoga, one can heal Anything ~ That is not MY promise.  That is the truth of the human being. We have infinite abilities ~ Time will reveal and time has already revealed … with sincere hope you will reach out and ask me anything about this gift of yoga that could one day bring you perfect health ~ shaktim

Ps I am still working on the Ketchari Mudra and have no plans to cut my tongue as the Hatha Yoga Pradipika suggests. And the swami who ‘showed’ me this can be done, said he did NOT have to cut his tongue.

I would like to share this link describing Gorakh Nath a little better.

http://www.shabadsuratsangam.org/the-mission/inspiring-masters/siddha-gorakhnath-2/

The life of Siddha Guru Gorakhanātha is no less mystical than those of Vedic sages like Vaśiṣṭha, Vyāsa, Śukadeva. Born and brought up from the blessed ash of Śrī Guru Matsyendranātha, he is a Master who represents the dazzling heights of the path to immortality. His writings are also readily available. An example of his creative verse follows:

 “O Devi! No accomplishment can result without travelling through the celebrated path of the realized masters – the suṣumnā. Behold the results of this journey. First, all kinds of ailments are annihilated. Then the grossness of the body elements is destroyed. The moon is harmonized which continues to pour out the celestial ambrosia; and the fire unites with air to purify the grossness in totality; a variety of nāda are heard, the body and skin become supple. Being victorious over the earth element the yogi gains the power to soar across the universe. He becomes omniscient. His body is beautiful and radiant like that of Kāmadeva, and is swift like the wind. He breaks the limits of the three worlds, accomplishes all siddhis. As camphor dissolving into the air/fire is purged of its own grossness; with the ego too being dissolved fully into God, the rigidity of the body is destroyed (thus the consciousness does not remain confined to the body only). A yogi being omniscient, omnipotent, liberated, all encompassing and emancipated from the cycle of life & death remains in the world of his own free will.”

The path shown by Guru Gorakhanātha starts from devotion to one’s Master, which melts the impurities in the mind and the heart and makes them vessels fit enough for the yogic endeavor.

The further stages include entry into the suṣumnā and hereafter an indescribable, esoteric journey of the aspirant ensues which has been vividly charted in the literature of the Siddha Tradition.

“my path began in 2001 when I called out to the Universe, “Who am I”. within  weeks I met Mark Griffin, my guru above all gurus as he was the one who sparked the awakening of the Kundalini Shakti, the power of the human being to transcend disease and death. A profound journey of healing what was and is supposed to be a fatal disease, I am forever grateful to this divine siddha, Guru Mark and his unending love and grace. Jai Nityananda.” shaktim

Bhagavan Nityananda, Gorakhnath, Matsyendranātha,  Mark Griffin, Kalu Rinpoche, Kopan Monastery, The Monk, Aghori Baba Sunil, Pashupathinath, SuryaGhat, Ketchari Mudra, Hatha Yoga, Healing

shaktimseva ... Adopt an Indian Grandparent

https://www.facebook.com/BhagavanNityanandasElderSadhuTruth 


Please LIKE my page on Facebook and follow the Irish/Italian American with an Indian Soul's journey... i am beginning to see a bright light at the end of the tunnel ~ I want to represent the Elder Indian Folk by dedicating my seva/social work to them and here on the world wide web, sharing their stories to inspire a movement towards respecting and honoring the lives of the Elders, regardless of their past deeds. These lonely souls deserve safety and daily food, proper shelter, medicines and to live the remainder of their lives in dignity. Please won't you help to spread the word. Shaktim wants an Indian, which is the only legal way in which I can begin to be of True service to these people. I have always had an infinity toward older people and I have a passion to secure a better future for ALL the Elder Folks of India. Maybe you can help me achieve this resolve 

Below are images of Elder Indians, ranging in age from 60's to 80's. They are currently living in the HOMELESS SHELTER provided by the Trust in Ganeshpuri. 

This could be YOU or I. This could be ANYONE in your family.

WHY?

‘Bhakti is Universal Love. See God in All beings without the least idea of duality, is Bhakti.’ … Bhagavan Nityananda

This is an issue that CAN and MUST be rectified. I am hoping to find like minded folks who will part with a few dollars a month to offer these Elder a second meal of the day. Currently they are begging for their food and are provided one meal a day by the Temple Trust. I can buy and distribute coupons daily, sitting with these people and making sure the coupons are used properly. 

I also want help to Improve their living conditions in the small shelter provided. During the Monsoon, the Five Large Open Windows are not covered and create a huge mess for those living inside. There are no fans and only one light. 

My big dream for them is to have a proper bathroom installed inside the building for the Disabled who currently have to walk the length of a football field for the public bathroom.

Another Trust in the village provides medical, medicines free of charge. They are doing exceptional work, but in order to be seen there is a 15 rupee fee, a fee that these Elder Folk would have to beg for. 

SERVE THE REFORMER … Bhagavan Nityananda WAS a Reformer.
To men of action, Bhagavan Said, “Do Selfless Work”

http://www.nityanand.org/facilities.htm

~ this is my dedication for the enlightenment of all sentient beings and the guru lineage of Sri Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri and Khanangad. time and love, as my beloved singing teacher from NYC, Elynn Diamond would say ... Shaktim ... Love, Soul and Freedom.

BEYOND SELFISHNESS … the path to inner freedom … the guru gita further morphing~

My Three Gurus ~ Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri and Kanhangad, my Great Grandfather Guru. Swami Paramahamsa Muktananda, my Grandfather Guru. Mark Griffin, my Guru. Guru Marks Lotus Feet and myself ...  digital Oil Artwork by me.

Is it a selfish Act? … This desire to release from the wheel???
 Bhagavan Nityananda's Elder Sadhu Truth N.E.S.T.

Most of us spend our lives steeped in selfish motive. Whether making each move, unconscious of the fact, or in an out and out leveraging each situation to have the best outcome for self, it is our reality. For the sake of universal correctness, I will only write the statement that this as my reality. Being selfish is a natural occurrence, one brought forth by our very innate animal instincts to ‘survive’.


First of all, even with my seemingly hours of editing on this note, with so much more simply left out, It will still come across to many as ‘free associative thinking’. And it is. For most of my 900 friends on Facebook, I apologize for using words that might have no meaning for you, but in most cases I have tried to offer brief definitions of what the heck I am trying to share and explain.


The ‘Wheel’ is the Hindus understanding of the ‘Wheel of Samsara’, cause and effect literally meaning "continuous flow", which is the repeating cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth (reincarnation) within Hinduism, Buddhism, Bön, Jainism, Yoga and Sikhism {taken from Wikipedia}. I will go out on a limb and state that in EVERY indigenous tribe on the planet, reincarnation is a belief.  One finds it everywhere but in Christianity and Islam. (And that can also be argued).


I’m living in India now for a year and three months, at the seat of my THREE guru lineage and I yearn to experience the Formless Absolute … I yearn to be ONE with God. ONLY. From my reading and understanding of sacred Eastern texts AND the Bible, I discover that I already AM that ONE, but still do not recognize it.


Sometimes, after taking a few, yogic deep bellows breaths, that oneness bursts within my heart as I sit in Bhagavan Nityananda’s temple in Ganeshpuri and the particles of myself do a weaving and undulating and expanding all through the grand hall and I feel one with everyone present. They are Me. I shared that once I exploded with the light in the temple. Sometimes that energy moves out into All of India and even all of the earth. Once or twice shining into the cosmos. During one of my Avatar Kriya Babaji mantra nights, I {imagined}, certainly, that he whisked me up from my seat, took me backwards and I saw the earth become a tiny light …  the cosmic cave in Khultabad, sitting with guru Mark, took me up and beyond the earth as well.


I yearn to be ONE. How to get there, from my limited, unopened third eye perspective, is the journey I wish to reveal now. As my ancient one, the monk always says, “Its right in front of your tim, but you can’t see it. So many guides are waiting to assist you, but you are not going deeper, you are not giving them the opportunity to bestow blessings on you. You are still attached to the Bliss Bunny effect of running the energy through the physical body”. Yes, that is true. But what could be more profoundly healing than having every cell of your body resonate, vibrating with this ONENESS? “But there is MORE beyond the senses. So much more! he says.”


What? Wow!!! REALLY? That is Awesome, I think, but why me? He says, ‘its not just you tim, you’re nothing special. Everyone has this opportunity, stop selfishly considering yourself to be ‘special’. OK, I am trying … but try as I might to let go of this ACTOR persona, this thing called ‘shaktipat’, the blessings bestowed to me by my guru to activate this ever running prana of electricity, I only come back around to all the desires I have to be an amazing Actor, winning Oscars, Starring on Broadway and even being the Lead Tenor in an Opera House! Lol. Of course I want to become an awesome healer too, leading others to recognize their OWN innate healing abilities … I Want I want I want. When does that go away? Perhaps for this body, mind and soul, never. Perhaps a little bit day after day … releasing the dreams. I thought I did release the dream. But why would my Operatic Tenor voice manifest after ‘giving up the dream’? What is all this about? Why do i, JTP Maloney get to be in India, number one and how did it happen that I am blessed to sit with Bade Baba, who was Krishna in a previous incarnation, by the way and for those who do not know the Avatar story, Krishna was Jesus TOO! But why do I get to sit everyday in this village for over a year on a tourist visa? Questions that are temporarily subdued by another sit with the Bade Baba, my Bhagavan Nityananda, where all is washed, all is tidy and cleaned … actually, his temple is quite literally this for me. I can walk inside with all of my angst, all of my selfish motives and forget myself and become ONE for that hour or two or three. It never ceases to amaze me that in the midst of such a chaotic, noisy darshan hall … I am transfixed by the Kalachakra artistry of the temple sanctum and find myself sinking into the whiteness of it all within minutes … but all that took time too, forgetting the sounds or embracing them. Not sure how that goes … but they disappear at times. I feel like this is my classroom. So many times people would try to persuade me to go to a silent place, but I see the value of overcoming the obstacle of ‘extraneous noise’ as part and parcel with the unfolding tranquility that comes from releasing the judgments, embracing the talkers as just another part of myself … Living in Ganeshpuri, realizing that having this shakti includes the command from Shiva’s Guru Gita: ‘Anena yad bhavet kaaryam, tad vadaami mahaamate; Loko pakaarakam devi, laukikam tu na bhaavayet.’ (O Wise One, much can be accomplished through these spiritual practices. Focus your attention on service and working for the welfare of people, instead of using your accrued Shakti for self-centered worldly gain.) This Command of Shiva, to step outside of my attachment to the bliss to trying to be here for everyone has served me exponentially to FACE my karmas of attachment, of my own personal neediness to be ‘special’, to be praised. Of course I have had the help of the monk to reveal to me some of my own inner workings that I could not see myself. Through it I discovered I was doing every ounce of my seva, the Indians call ‘charity work’, Selfless Service … with this kind of ‘unconscious, or just near the conscious level’ of, ‘watch me’ see, I am doing this. Never did that interfere with Baba giving me this profound energy blast in the temple. He seems to overlook these miniscule issues, because there is a hint of a truth that I really DO want to inspire others to do the same thing. I wanted to hand that banana to the person I was serving regardless of the disease or caste they were coming from. I wanted to take my shoes off and walk through the dried urine in the homeless shelter, just to prove a point and I did. ~I wanted to pick up that dying person and cart him through the village in a rickshaw to ‘lead by example’ as we are taught in America. But in that instant, I got scared and I left that man to die ‘naturally’ as he seemed to wish. I’ve seen at least five homeless Older people do this same thing, lying in the sun. This skin and bones man, with his head opened, maggots crawling out because he had not moved from his place in the homeless shelter, suffering for an entire nine months as I fed him almost daily with my extra chapatti from Baba Canteen. The language barrier and the fact that most other villagers will not step foot in this place did not help. My selfishness. I simply did not have the where withal to ASK, ‘What can I do to help this man?’ I discovered too late. There was an option; a government hospital not 10 minutes away. I still mourn that opportunity to show compassion and perhaps that ‘showing off’ of what a truly humane person would choose to do or should choose to do in any given circumstance.


Now I have returned to the selfishness of needing to walk past these people that I fed every few days as I go towards my Baba’s temple. And I choose NOT to look anymore, once again going back to that place where I was so comfortable. The selfishness of holding onto my shakti. Not serving.


Well, making the decision to serve one or two people, instead of everyone.


My personal reveal about the ONE and how to ‘get it’ is this:  The monk says, “This un-manifest Brahman, or formless Absolute reality, i.e.: God is all around you tim”?


Hmm, what is all around … I’m thinking, thinking of so many different possibilities?Then I come back to a prayer I read in one of Vivekananda’s writings. AIR. Vayu … Vayu equals AIR in Hindi. The Vayu, Air, ie: Oxygen… is the Unmanifest Brahman. Pieces of the puzzle come closer~ So, very cool! I was right all this time … that idea I latched onto with guru Mark, ‘breathing with intention’… sharing with hundreds of friends along these last many years, one on one … that the ONLY way to connect with God on this physical plane is to recognize that he resides in Everything. But more importantly, recognizing that the ‘secret code’ of what Jesus shared about Christ makes us one, in its simplicity, sipping of the oxygen, the air, ie: GOD, with your gratitude … transmuting those molecules of oxygen into the ‘drops of bliss’ or the ‘battery charge’ … or as we say in Christian terms, ‘having the holy spirit descend upon us’ … Chills, tingles … electricity. Whatever you want to call it. I was right. The BIG ‘I’ was right, that selfish part of myself who would occasionally look around my meditation group and calculate who was doing the deep bellows breathing, who was not. I understood the mechanism of this process of receiving the energies, through the retention of the breath and the space between the breaths ~ those are the places, the spaces of emptiness where that molecule, that atom, explodes into something else… into the connection with All that IS, the absolute Bliss.



My animal survival of being selfish is still present and Surviving i am. More than surviving 16 years with hiv ~ I have found my self, presented with all my faults and all of my selfish motives, yet I am still in love with this ONE called ‘Shaktim’, because the soul is perfect, will Always be perfect, as it is part of ‘THE ONE’ … Jai Nityananda


My good fortune… my 80 something year old Swami G, the one who was my bunk mate during my gurus’ first retreat at Fire Mountain, the one I got this mansion for, has accepted my offer to live with me … and Pradip, the one I call ‘Samadhi Baba’, the one who is on my 9 foot banner for the ELDER SADHUS has also come around after my many invitations. This is getting good folks ~ Karma yoga, serving the guru lineage and Elder Sadhus … I’ve NEVER been MORE Selfishly Happy !!! Jai Shree Nityananda!

The Above Photos are some of my Digital Oil Artwork ~ if you are interested in supporting Shaktimseva~ 100% of your donations will go toward my seva projects ... paypal timmaloney82@gmail.com 

The Transforming Ganeshpuri Guru Gita

What if every myth on the planet had some kernel of truth in it? What if it had MORE than a kernel? What if we ALL had the capacity to use the other 96% of our brains currently NOT in use? (Some believe we use at least 10%). What if we ALL had the capacity to see one another’s energy field, or spiritual qualities present? What if we ALL could HEAL Instantly? What if there were NO illnesses? What if? What if we used the FREE energy that was developed by Nicolai Tesla? What if we ALL could talk to one another with the mind only? What if we ALL could actually fly or travel instantly through space and time? Or even back or forward in time?
These and other questions have always mystified, excited, even thrilled me, as I always ‘KNEW’ that someday I was going to fly. Yes, flying through the air much like a bird, but not needing the wings to make it happen. Crazy, its ok, laugh. Please do laugh or I will think you are crazy too. BUT, I AM on a mission that I do not expect everyone, or anyone for that matter to understand, appreciate or accept.

You see, time is non-existent, effortless, many times 'breathless', merging in divinely blissful meditation in front of the Great Shri Gurudev Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri ... the chances of a meeting such a ONE as this are close to none really, especially for a selfish, egotistical Actor from America. But here i was for 5 months in 2010 immersing my complete being in Bade Baba’s stream of love and care, by the grace of my guru, Mark Griffin, my very ‘White’ Guru, by the way. How does that happen? Karma. The gifts of past lives leading me to the extraordinary opportunity to MEET my guru in this lifetime, receive the Shaktipat and be put on the path to liberate myself from the wheel of ‘the harsh school that this earth plane will always be’, at least during the Kali yuga, the darkest period of mankind, according to the vedic scriptures. Lucky for ALL of US, we are living here and now. We have been relieved of this period of time. Yes, the Age of Aquarius has dawned, the age of unification and we are indeed moving back into the Satya yuga, The GOLDEN AGE, where in fact, all of the things I mentioned as merely dreams, fantasies or perhaps the ultimate grasping for the last bit of hope left in my journey, having chosen at one time, to 'take' on the world living as an AIDS martyr; (In the fullness of my being, I know I broke the mold and am on a new destiny) these surreal ideas and images found in what seems to be dreams only, will indeed, come to pass. Return is the more appropriate statement. No 2012 is NOT the END of the World.

Its clear to me that I should have passed in 2004 when I was hospitalized because my t-cells had dropped to 28 and I could not eat without choking on the food trying to pass through my esophagus, which had been badly damaged from the earlier bouts with thrush and trying to cure it with western chemicals that might as well have been made to clean an oil spill.  So why did I live? 10 hospitals in one year, a near death trip in my Ford Ranger trying to make it home to Florida to be with my family to die, ending up in a convalescent home and being kicked out a week later because I was a ‘bio-hazard’ to the Elder Folk. 

I lived through the grace of having received Shaktipat from my guru Mark in 2001, that’s how I survived. This is so far behind me now that it seems irrelevant to even write about, but for those on other paths, I want you to have a better idea of who I am, where I have come from and why this Indian siddha path is for me. You see, pranayama yoga, the ancient Indian yog tradition, IS the CURE !!! I am living now 16 years with hiv, five of those years I was on the ‘cocktail’ regimen devoutly. Now I am completely off of the ‘coctail’ for 2 years. Something unusual happened within my guru dreams while I was on this medicine. I was blessed with disturbing insights into the true nature of the illness and what it is doing, in effect, to the humanity. Enslaving each and every one of us with the fear! The fear of close relations, the fear of the devastating effect this disease has on ones body, mind and in my dream states, I realized ‘The Soul’. The soul of a person affected with hiv/aids is nearly obliterated. Power to step outside of Western thought and medicine, courage to stand, what seems alone in the quest for a ‘Natures Cure’ … I only have this inspiration because, as I have written about for years after this 10 hospital incident, ‘I breathe for my guru’. Why would I breathe for my guru? What does that mean? It means I am certain that my destiny through the grace of my guru, is to not only HEAL my hiv COMPLETELY, but to transcend this small 3D illusion that we live in and embrace, through my meditation, through my practice, the realization that ‘I am That’. It’s quite simple. The body dies, the spirit is eternal. EVERY SOUL is eternal. These understandings only come from the experience of having pierced the veil of illusion once or twice. 

I am still alive because I LOVE ‘BREATHING with INTENTION’. The act, or the ART of taking sips of atoms with my love for God and having them ‘explode’ in my brain cavity with bliss. What is Bliss? Nectar. The ambrosia from God … merging with pure being. This is bliss. How do you achieve this state? Simply focus on a candle or the sun or the moon for that matter. Or a specific point on the wall. Think of the last time you felt gratitude and then ‘Play Act’ … remember this gratitude so strongly that you smile and take your first, truly relaxing, appreciative, ‘yogic breath’. Yes, the deep bellows breath (breathing in the belly as a baby does naturally) is an important tool to add when you have that first ‘inspiration’, remembering the gratitude, be if for your love for God, the kiss your daughter gave you on the cheek ten minutes ago, or for that pat on the back you got at work. Anything that stirs the heart into having that thought, that feeling of GRATITUDE. There are only TWO things required to create blissful, peaceful moments within your body, mind and soul. First is the ‘thought’ and second is the ‘breath’, the slow, slow, slow breath to reach fullness. The secret is to rest between EACH SIP of oxygen and discover for yourself what transpires. It is in the EMPTINESS, between the breaths, that allows that particle of oxygen to do its transfiguration inside your brain. The ATOM EXPLODES. We were designed by God and as Jesus said, every human being has the Kingdom of God WITHIN HIM. How is that possible? How can we connect to God on this 3 D plane? Through the oxygen … prana … the Holy Spirit. Enough of that for now, but if anyone reading wants to experience Honoring their bodies with ‘Breathing with Intention’ please connect with me and we can figure out a way to make it happen.

Forward to August 2011, only 6 months after I had left Ganeshpuri from my 4th trip to India in 2010 and my 3rd trip to Ganeshpuri.

Lets also step back a bit and start with one fact. My first THREE visits to India, 2003, 2005 and 2008, all with my guru, I never gave ONE rupee to a beggar or a sadhu making his rounds to 'bless'. My pat statement was, 'Bhago' in a deep resonating harshness. That is not to say I did not go beyond my means to help one or two people who I became close to. But those are stories for another time. Moving back to the present, I was introduced to the Guru Gita by Mark Griffin, my guru, a few years back. He asked his students to take up the habit of reciting his 30-minute, 108-verse translation, daily. Being the rebel I was, I made the conscious decision that I would NOT recite this text on a daily basis because I already had everything I wanted to 'Recharge My Battery' as i like to call short or long meditation sits and my deep pranayam breathing. I was what one friend called, 'The Rebel'. I had all the attainments the Guru Gita talks about so WHY would I spend time doing this practice??? But start I did. At first, not everyday, but slowly as I got the amazing feelings and started actually 'doing the practice it describes in detail', in between each paragraph I would have a mini 'yogic breath'. So my sits with this text developed into 2 hour Awesome 'Battery Charges'... when I left the temple from these sits, it became a natural inclination to want to give back.

And now, this is my experience in Ganeshpuri after 9 months 'doing' what the Guru Gita says to do, "Focus your attention on service and working for the welfare of people, instead of using your accrued shakti for self-centered worldly gains". All the homeless know me, don't know my name, but their demeanor changes when they see me, some smile, some are even bowing and the occasional 'Jai Nityananda' ... I sit on the dirty steps with the homeless to have my cigarette, often they start up a conversation or I simply find myself deep in a yogic breath in front of them, giving them a taste of why a Westerner is 'breaking all the caste rules'. I bow to the old beggar ladies who spend half the day sitting near the temple gate waiting to have a devotee offer them alms, or food. I make rounds to find someone really needing food, or something, a doctor’s visit, shoes. It has become a part and parcel with my recitation of the Guru Gita. Shaktimseva. Shaktim sadhu hall, dreams for the elder sadhus and now dreams to bring a new reality of safety to ALL of India’s Elder people. I keep saying, “That is what I am going to tell Congress”.

… Yes, we know I am bi-polar, but does that really fit into the label of the shaktim anymore? Some serious minds here in this village refute the entire idea that I am diagnosed bi-polar, but I now look at this gift of early retirement as ‘The Destiny to have the opportunity to ‘DO IT, JuST DO IT’. Or Do or Die, was the bag I brought home my first time in India and carted around with me for years. I do it in the name of my THREE guru’s, the guru lineage and the holy siddhas and feel shakti pour through me when someone receives my gift with an open heart. Even when they are not conscious enough to look at me I feel this shakti running. I have a yogic monk come into my world, now on average about once every 3 months with a little nugget of information that takes me deeper in my practice. This yogic monk 'sees' everything I do (which at first was quite alarming) and sometimes I feel he is Bhagavan Nityananda himself who is there to gently correct me. "I have patience" was his last comment. Strange meetings for sure, but each time I rise to 'activating' those not so talked about chakras and bindus and find myself merging with all that is. His latest treat has activated my 2nd heart chakra (the second seat located to the right and a little back of the heart chakra). What more could I ask for? My Three Gurus have given me the freedom to explore, to find the truth of the Guru Gita, experientially. Pinda (the attainment of shaktipat) Pada (when the awareness of soham becomes unbroken) Rupa (the enduring vision of the blue pearl), and Niranjanam (merging with pure being) are truths. I experience them daily. Ganeshpuri, the Abode of Ganesh, means (center of spiritual initiation). 

What’s next for the shaktim? I asked Bade Babe that tonight when I realized I was completely ALONE in the temple watching from my periphery vision, the Brahman taking a wreath and coming out of the sanctuary, exiting the building. ALONE. ME. How could this happen? Why did this happen? The intimacy immediately transcended me into an Open Field on top of a hill overlooking an expanse of water … as I lifted my arms to shoulder level, not even realizing they were rising, I was struck with this pipeline of extraordinary bliss particles resonating, escalating me far above this 3rd dimensional realm. I was in Heaven. I looked out and saw a mass of people within the sea, also enraptured with bliss, just lifting my hands now I am feeling this same energy pouring into me. It is a remarkable state to be sharing from.  This is when I asked my question. Why am I going to Kashmir? What is my intention Bade Baba? I don’t have any concrete plans, only a host family that has been waiting for my arrival since last August. Shouldn’t that be reason enough? Or To keep my agreement to accept their gracious hospitality once more or at least to get out of the Indian summer heat? My concentration stopped. The bliss continued, but the question was not answered, tonight.  If you have made it through this read, I salute you. This is free associative writing as far as I am concerned. There was no need to go further, at this moment, with each idea or story shared about my life. It is all in the perfect plan for my truth seeking.                  Jai Nityananda; Jai Guru Mark

http://www.hardlight.org/
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Favourite Ganeshpuri Sadhus ~ Digital Art by shaktim

~ through the years i didn't talk to the westerners in India, i didn't talk to most people, but i would watch the sadhus ... so CERTAIN of their rights to BE ~ so simple ...

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