BEYOND SELFISHNESS … the path to inner freedom … the guru gita further morphing~

My Three Gurus ~ Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri and Kanhangad, my Great Grandfather Guru. Swami Paramahamsa Muktananda, my Grandfather Guru. Mark Griffin, my Guru. Guru Marks Lotus Feet and myself ...  digital Oil Artwork by me.

Is it a selfish Act? … This desire to release from the wheel???
 Bhagavan Nityananda's Elder Sadhu Truth N.E.S.T.

Most of us spend our lives steeped in selfish motive. Whether making each move, unconscious of the fact, or in an out and out leveraging each situation to have the best outcome for self, it is our reality. For the sake of universal correctness, I will only write the statement that this as my reality. Being selfish is a natural occurrence, one brought forth by our very innate animal instincts to ‘survive’.


First of all, even with my seemingly hours of editing on this note, with so much more simply left out, It will still come across to many as ‘free associative thinking’. And it is. For most of my 900 friends on Facebook, I apologize for using words that might have no meaning for you, but in most cases I have tried to offer brief definitions of what the heck I am trying to share and explain.


The ‘Wheel’ is the Hindus understanding of the ‘Wheel of Samsara’, cause and effect literally meaning "continuous flow", which is the repeating cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth (reincarnation) within Hinduism, Buddhism, Bön, Jainism, Yoga and Sikhism {taken from Wikipedia}. I will go out on a limb and state that in EVERY indigenous tribe on the planet, reincarnation is a belief.  One finds it everywhere but in Christianity and Islam. (And that can also be argued).


I’m living in India now for a year and three months, at the seat of my THREE guru lineage and I yearn to experience the Formless Absolute … I yearn to be ONE with God. ONLY. From my reading and understanding of sacred Eastern texts AND the Bible, I discover that I already AM that ONE, but still do not recognize it.


Sometimes, after taking a few, yogic deep bellows breaths, that oneness bursts within my heart as I sit in Bhagavan Nityananda’s temple in Ganeshpuri and the particles of myself do a weaving and undulating and expanding all through the grand hall and I feel one with everyone present. They are Me. I shared that once I exploded with the light in the temple. Sometimes that energy moves out into All of India and even all of the earth. Once or twice shining into the cosmos. During one of my Avatar Kriya Babaji mantra nights, I {imagined}, certainly, that he whisked me up from my seat, took me backwards and I saw the earth become a tiny light …  the cosmic cave in Khultabad, sitting with guru Mark, took me up and beyond the earth as well.


I yearn to be ONE. How to get there, from my limited, unopened third eye perspective, is the journey I wish to reveal now. As my ancient one, the monk always says, “Its right in front of your tim, but you can’t see it. So many guides are waiting to assist you, but you are not going deeper, you are not giving them the opportunity to bestow blessings on you. You are still attached to the Bliss Bunny effect of running the energy through the physical body”. Yes, that is true. But what could be more profoundly healing than having every cell of your body resonate, vibrating with this ONENESS? “But there is MORE beyond the senses. So much more! he says.”


What? Wow!!! REALLY? That is Awesome, I think, but why me? He says, ‘its not just you tim, you’re nothing special. Everyone has this opportunity, stop selfishly considering yourself to be ‘special’. OK, I am trying … but try as I might to let go of this ACTOR persona, this thing called ‘shaktipat’, the blessings bestowed to me by my guru to activate this ever running prana of electricity, I only come back around to all the desires I have to be an amazing Actor, winning Oscars, Starring on Broadway and even being the Lead Tenor in an Opera House! Lol. Of course I want to become an awesome healer too, leading others to recognize their OWN innate healing abilities … I Want I want I want. When does that go away? Perhaps for this body, mind and soul, never. Perhaps a little bit day after day … releasing the dreams. I thought I did release the dream. But why would my Operatic Tenor voice manifest after ‘giving up the dream’? What is all this about? Why do i, JTP Maloney get to be in India, number one and how did it happen that I am blessed to sit with Bade Baba, who was Krishna in a previous incarnation, by the way and for those who do not know the Avatar story, Krishna was Jesus TOO! But why do I get to sit everyday in this village for over a year on a tourist visa? Questions that are temporarily subdued by another sit with the Bade Baba, my Bhagavan Nityananda, where all is washed, all is tidy and cleaned … actually, his temple is quite literally this for me. I can walk inside with all of my angst, all of my selfish motives and forget myself and become ONE for that hour or two or three. It never ceases to amaze me that in the midst of such a chaotic, noisy darshan hall … I am transfixed by the Kalachakra artistry of the temple sanctum and find myself sinking into the whiteness of it all within minutes … but all that took time too, forgetting the sounds or embracing them. Not sure how that goes … but they disappear at times. I feel like this is my classroom. So many times people would try to persuade me to go to a silent place, but I see the value of overcoming the obstacle of ‘extraneous noise’ as part and parcel with the unfolding tranquility that comes from releasing the judgments, embracing the talkers as just another part of myself … Living in Ganeshpuri, realizing that having this shakti includes the command from Shiva’s Guru Gita: ‘Anena yad bhavet kaaryam, tad vadaami mahaamate; Loko pakaarakam devi, laukikam tu na bhaavayet.’ (O Wise One, much can be accomplished through these spiritual practices. Focus your attention on service and working for the welfare of people, instead of using your accrued Shakti for self-centered worldly gain.) This Command of Shiva, to step outside of my attachment to the bliss to trying to be here for everyone has served me exponentially to FACE my karmas of attachment, of my own personal neediness to be ‘special’, to be praised. Of course I have had the help of the monk to reveal to me some of my own inner workings that I could not see myself. Through it I discovered I was doing every ounce of my seva, the Indians call ‘charity work’, Selfless Service … with this kind of ‘unconscious, or just near the conscious level’ of, ‘watch me’ see, I am doing this. Never did that interfere with Baba giving me this profound energy blast in the temple. He seems to overlook these miniscule issues, because there is a hint of a truth that I really DO want to inspire others to do the same thing. I wanted to hand that banana to the person I was serving regardless of the disease or caste they were coming from. I wanted to take my shoes off and walk through the dried urine in the homeless shelter, just to prove a point and I did. ~I wanted to pick up that dying person and cart him through the village in a rickshaw to ‘lead by example’ as we are taught in America. But in that instant, I got scared and I left that man to die ‘naturally’ as he seemed to wish. I’ve seen at least five homeless Older people do this same thing, lying in the sun. This skin and bones man, with his head opened, maggots crawling out because he had not moved from his place in the homeless shelter, suffering for an entire nine months as I fed him almost daily with my extra chapatti from Baba Canteen. The language barrier and the fact that most other villagers will not step foot in this place did not help. My selfishness. I simply did not have the where withal to ASK, ‘What can I do to help this man?’ I discovered too late. There was an option; a government hospital not 10 minutes away. I still mourn that opportunity to show compassion and perhaps that ‘showing off’ of what a truly humane person would choose to do or should choose to do in any given circumstance.


Now I have returned to the selfishness of needing to walk past these people that I fed every few days as I go towards my Baba’s temple. And I choose NOT to look anymore, once again going back to that place where I was so comfortable. The selfishness of holding onto my shakti. Not serving.


Well, making the decision to serve one or two people, instead of everyone.


My personal reveal about the ONE and how to ‘get it’ is this:  The monk says, “This un-manifest Brahman, or formless Absolute reality, i.e.: God is all around you tim”?


Hmm, what is all around … I’m thinking, thinking of so many different possibilities?Then I come back to a prayer I read in one of Vivekananda’s writings. AIR. Vayu … Vayu equals AIR in Hindi. The Vayu, Air, ie: Oxygen… is the Unmanifest Brahman. Pieces of the puzzle come closer~ So, very cool! I was right all this time … that idea I latched onto with guru Mark, ‘breathing with intention’… sharing with hundreds of friends along these last many years, one on one … that the ONLY way to connect with God on this physical plane is to recognize that he resides in Everything. But more importantly, recognizing that the ‘secret code’ of what Jesus shared about Christ makes us one, in its simplicity, sipping of the oxygen, the air, ie: GOD, with your gratitude … transmuting those molecules of oxygen into the ‘drops of bliss’ or the ‘battery charge’ … or as we say in Christian terms, ‘having the holy spirit descend upon us’ … Chills, tingles … electricity. Whatever you want to call it. I was right. The BIG ‘I’ was right, that selfish part of myself who would occasionally look around my meditation group and calculate who was doing the deep bellows breathing, who was not. I understood the mechanism of this process of receiving the energies, through the retention of the breath and the space between the breaths ~ those are the places, the spaces of emptiness where that molecule, that atom, explodes into something else… into the connection with All that IS, the absolute Bliss.



My animal survival of being selfish is still present and Surviving i am. More than surviving 16 years with hiv ~ I have found my self, presented with all my faults and all of my selfish motives, yet I am still in love with this ONE called ‘Shaktim’, because the soul is perfect, will Always be perfect, as it is part of ‘THE ONE’ … Jai Nityananda


My good fortune… my 80 something year old Swami G, the one who was my bunk mate during my gurus’ first retreat at Fire Mountain, the one I got this mansion for, has accepted my offer to live with me … and Pradip, the one I call ‘Samadhi Baba’, the one who is on my 9 foot banner for the ELDER SADHUS has also come around after my many invitations. This is getting good folks ~ Karma yoga, serving the guru lineage and Elder Sadhus … I’ve NEVER been MORE Selfishly Happy !!! Jai Shree Nityananda!

The Above Photos are some of my Digital Oil Artwork ~ if you are interested in supporting Shaktimseva~ 100% of your donations will go toward my seva projects ... paypal timmaloney82@gmail.com 

The Transforming Ganeshpuri Guru Gita

What if every myth on the planet had some kernel of truth in it? What if it had MORE than a kernel? What if we ALL had the capacity to use the other 96% of our brains currently NOT in use? (Some believe we use at least 10%). What if we ALL had the capacity to see one another’s energy field, or spiritual qualities present? What if we ALL could HEAL Instantly? What if there were NO illnesses? What if? What if we used the FREE energy that was developed by Nicolai Tesla? What if we ALL could talk to one another with the mind only? What if we ALL could actually fly or travel instantly through space and time? Or even back or forward in time?
These and other questions have always mystified, excited, even thrilled me, as I always ‘KNEW’ that someday I was going to fly. Yes, flying through the air much like a bird, but not needing the wings to make it happen. Crazy, its ok, laugh. Please do laugh or I will think you are crazy too. BUT, I AM on a mission that I do not expect everyone, or anyone for that matter to understand, appreciate or accept.

You see, time is non-existent, effortless, many times 'breathless', merging in divinely blissful meditation in front of the Great Shri Gurudev Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri ... the chances of a meeting such a ONE as this are close to none really, especially for a selfish, egotistical Actor from America. But here i was for 5 months in 2010 immersing my complete being in Bade Baba’s stream of love and care, by the grace of my guru, Mark Griffin, my very ‘White’ Guru, by the way. How does that happen? Karma. The gifts of past lives leading me to the extraordinary opportunity to MEET my guru in this lifetime, receive the Shaktipat and be put on the path to liberate myself from the wheel of ‘the harsh school that this earth plane will always be’, at least during the Kali yuga, the darkest period of mankind, according to the vedic scriptures. Lucky for ALL of US, we are living here and now. We have been relieved of this period of time. Yes, the Age of Aquarius has dawned, the age of unification and we are indeed moving back into the Satya yuga, The GOLDEN AGE, where in fact, all of the things I mentioned as merely dreams, fantasies or perhaps the ultimate grasping for the last bit of hope left in my journey, having chosen at one time, to 'take' on the world living as an AIDS martyr; (In the fullness of my being, I know I broke the mold and am on a new destiny) these surreal ideas and images found in what seems to be dreams only, will indeed, come to pass. Return is the more appropriate statement. No 2012 is NOT the END of the World.

Its clear to me that I should have passed in 2004 when I was hospitalized because my t-cells had dropped to 28 and I could not eat without choking on the food trying to pass through my esophagus, which had been badly damaged from the earlier bouts with thrush and trying to cure it with western chemicals that might as well have been made to clean an oil spill.  So why did I live? 10 hospitals in one year, a near death trip in my Ford Ranger trying to make it home to Florida to be with my family to die, ending up in a convalescent home and being kicked out a week later because I was a ‘bio-hazard’ to the Elder Folk. 

I lived through the grace of having received Shaktipat from my guru Mark in 2001, that’s how I survived. This is so far behind me now that it seems irrelevant to even write about, but for those on other paths, I want you to have a better idea of who I am, where I have come from and why this Indian siddha path is for me. You see, pranayama yoga, the ancient Indian yog tradition, IS the CURE !!! I am living now 16 years with hiv, five of those years I was on the ‘cocktail’ regimen devoutly. Now I am completely off of the ‘coctail’ for 2 years. Something unusual happened within my guru dreams while I was on this medicine. I was blessed with disturbing insights into the true nature of the illness and what it is doing, in effect, to the humanity. Enslaving each and every one of us with the fear! The fear of close relations, the fear of the devastating effect this disease has on ones body, mind and in my dream states, I realized ‘The Soul’. The soul of a person affected with hiv/aids is nearly obliterated. Power to step outside of Western thought and medicine, courage to stand, what seems alone in the quest for a ‘Natures Cure’ … I only have this inspiration because, as I have written about for years after this 10 hospital incident, ‘I breathe for my guru’. Why would I breathe for my guru? What does that mean? It means I am certain that my destiny through the grace of my guru, is to not only HEAL my hiv COMPLETELY, but to transcend this small 3D illusion that we live in and embrace, through my meditation, through my practice, the realization that ‘I am That’. It’s quite simple. The body dies, the spirit is eternal. EVERY SOUL is eternal. These understandings only come from the experience of having pierced the veil of illusion once or twice. 

I am still alive because I LOVE ‘BREATHING with INTENTION’. The act, or the ART of taking sips of atoms with my love for God and having them ‘explode’ in my brain cavity with bliss. What is Bliss? Nectar. The ambrosia from God … merging with pure being. This is bliss. How do you achieve this state? Simply focus on a candle or the sun or the moon for that matter. Or a specific point on the wall. Think of the last time you felt gratitude and then ‘Play Act’ … remember this gratitude so strongly that you smile and take your first, truly relaxing, appreciative, ‘yogic breath’. Yes, the deep bellows breath (breathing in the belly as a baby does naturally) is an important tool to add when you have that first ‘inspiration’, remembering the gratitude, be if for your love for God, the kiss your daughter gave you on the cheek ten minutes ago, or for that pat on the back you got at work. Anything that stirs the heart into having that thought, that feeling of GRATITUDE. There are only TWO things required to create blissful, peaceful moments within your body, mind and soul. First is the ‘thought’ and second is the ‘breath’, the slow, slow, slow breath to reach fullness. The secret is to rest between EACH SIP of oxygen and discover for yourself what transpires. It is in the EMPTINESS, between the breaths, that allows that particle of oxygen to do its transfiguration inside your brain. The ATOM EXPLODES. We were designed by God and as Jesus said, every human being has the Kingdom of God WITHIN HIM. How is that possible? How can we connect to God on this 3 D plane? Through the oxygen … prana … the Holy Spirit. Enough of that for now, but if anyone reading wants to experience Honoring their bodies with ‘Breathing with Intention’ please connect with me and we can figure out a way to make it happen.

Forward to August 2011, only 6 months after I had left Ganeshpuri from my 4th trip to India in 2010 and my 3rd trip to Ganeshpuri.

Lets also step back a bit and start with one fact. My first THREE visits to India, 2003, 2005 and 2008, all with my guru, I never gave ONE rupee to a beggar or a sadhu making his rounds to 'bless'. My pat statement was, 'Bhago' in a deep resonating harshness. That is not to say I did not go beyond my means to help one or two people who I became close to. But those are stories for another time. Moving back to the present, I was introduced to the Guru Gita by Mark Griffin, my guru, a few years back. He asked his students to take up the habit of reciting his 30-minute, 108-verse translation, daily. Being the rebel I was, I made the conscious decision that I would NOT recite this text on a daily basis because I already had everything I wanted to 'Recharge My Battery' as i like to call short or long meditation sits and my deep pranayam breathing. I was what one friend called, 'The Rebel'. I had all the attainments the Guru Gita talks about so WHY would I spend time doing this practice??? But start I did. At first, not everyday, but slowly as I got the amazing feelings and started actually 'doing the practice it describes in detail', in between each paragraph I would have a mini 'yogic breath'. So my sits with this text developed into 2 hour Awesome 'Battery Charges'... when I left the temple from these sits, it became a natural inclination to want to give back.

And now, this is my experience in Ganeshpuri after 9 months 'doing' what the Guru Gita says to do, "Focus your attention on service and working for the welfare of people, instead of using your accrued shakti for self-centered worldly gains". All the homeless know me, don't know my name, but their demeanor changes when they see me, some smile, some are even bowing and the occasional 'Jai Nityananda' ... I sit on the dirty steps with the homeless to have my cigarette, often they start up a conversation or I simply find myself deep in a yogic breath in front of them, giving them a taste of why a Westerner is 'breaking all the caste rules'. I bow to the old beggar ladies who spend half the day sitting near the temple gate waiting to have a devotee offer them alms, or food. I make rounds to find someone really needing food, or something, a doctor’s visit, shoes. It has become a part and parcel with my recitation of the Guru Gita. Shaktimseva. Shaktim sadhu hall, dreams for the elder sadhus and now dreams to bring a new reality of safety to ALL of India’s Elder people. I keep saying, “That is what I am going to tell Congress”.

… Yes, we know I am bi-polar, but does that really fit into the label of the shaktim anymore? Some serious minds here in this village refute the entire idea that I am diagnosed bi-polar, but I now look at this gift of early retirement as ‘The Destiny to have the opportunity to ‘DO IT, JuST DO IT’. Or Do or Die, was the bag I brought home my first time in India and carted around with me for years. I do it in the name of my THREE guru’s, the guru lineage and the holy siddhas and feel shakti pour through me when someone receives my gift with an open heart. Even when they are not conscious enough to look at me I feel this shakti running. I have a yogic monk come into my world, now on average about once every 3 months with a little nugget of information that takes me deeper in my practice. This yogic monk 'sees' everything I do (which at first was quite alarming) and sometimes I feel he is Bhagavan Nityananda himself who is there to gently correct me. "I have patience" was his last comment. Strange meetings for sure, but each time I rise to 'activating' those not so talked about chakras and bindus and find myself merging with all that is. His latest treat has activated my 2nd heart chakra (the second seat located to the right and a little back of the heart chakra). What more could I ask for? My Three Gurus have given me the freedom to explore, to find the truth of the Guru Gita, experientially. Pinda (the attainment of shaktipat) Pada (when the awareness of soham becomes unbroken) Rupa (the enduring vision of the blue pearl), and Niranjanam (merging with pure being) are truths. I experience them daily. Ganeshpuri, the Abode of Ganesh, means (center of spiritual initiation). 

What’s next for the shaktim? I asked Bade Babe that tonight when I realized I was completely ALONE in the temple watching from my periphery vision, the Brahman taking a wreath and coming out of the sanctuary, exiting the building. ALONE. ME. How could this happen? Why did this happen? The intimacy immediately transcended me into an Open Field on top of a hill overlooking an expanse of water … as I lifted my arms to shoulder level, not even realizing they were rising, I was struck with this pipeline of extraordinary bliss particles resonating, escalating me far above this 3rd dimensional realm. I was in Heaven. I looked out and saw a mass of people within the sea, also enraptured with bliss, just lifting my hands now I am feeling this same energy pouring into me. It is a remarkable state to be sharing from.  This is when I asked my question. Why am I going to Kashmir? What is my intention Bade Baba? I don’t have any concrete plans, only a host family that has been waiting for my arrival since last August. Shouldn’t that be reason enough? Or To keep my agreement to accept their gracious hospitality once more or at least to get out of the Indian summer heat? My concentration stopped. The bliss continued, but the question was not answered, tonight.  If you have made it through this read, I salute you. This is free associative writing as far as I am concerned. There was no need to go further, at this moment, with each idea or story shared about my life. It is all in the perfect plan for my truth seeking.                  Jai Nityananda; Jai Guru Mark

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