who am i …
a friend wrote me … “how
do you manage? You should write and share about your experience.” i wrote by
the grace of the guru lineage and the holy siddhas I am approaching 4 years
with NO Western Medicine for the 18 year ‘present’ of choosing to take on HIV.
Who am I? This question is a meditation for me currently. When I
ask that question to myself out loud, like a mantra, heat explodes within me
and my body vibrates … this primal, pure energy, I can only describe as an
instant healing effect.
Going to Nepal was a road that was paved with blessing after
blessing; Two months and a week. Introducing myself to my Grandfather Tibetan
Guru, Kalu Rinpoche, in meditation as I circumabulated around the Stupa at
Kopan Monastery. Meeting a High Lama and receiving his darshan, being set on a
new mantra for the mother goddess, which, after the two months in the monastery,
took me to meet the mother goddess cave at Pashupathinath. The baba caretaker
was a ‘white aghori’ as he claimed he did indeed meet the mother goddess who is
teaching him, but not by the ordinary Aghori ways.
He told me after he agreed to allow me to meditate in the cave,
the day I was leaving, he said, “I’ve been here 10 years doing puja for the
Mother Goddess Cave where Durga and MaaKali reside and never have I allowed
anyone to meditate in this cave. He still could not understand why this
‘foreigner’ got to sit there. He gave me his personal mala and invited me to
return.
One day, while I was in this Aghori Baba’s Cave, sitting in my own
little cell with a gate that he kept locked, a strange man appeared all in this
Turmeric, Orangish / Yellowish Swami Clothing. A Young man, younger than i. I
had never seen these colors before, but they were quite regal and stunning. He
opened the cave door and asked to enter. He approached me rather quickly,
sitting very close to me and in a hush he claimed that he was sent to give me
something that I had wanted for a long time. With that, he put a light to his
mouth and curled up his tongue as it reached to the very back of his mouth and
up behind his Uvuala. I let out a gasp. Indeed, for more than 2 years I have
been working with this meditation practice, part of Hatha Yoga, called
Ketchari.
The saying goes, this Khecarī
Mudrā, "name of Yogic posture which bestows spiritual attainment and
enables one to overcome disease and death."
As he left he bowed and said, “May Gorakshnath be with you
always”. I gasped again, this time in a whimper, stopping my tears. Why did those
words affect me so much? I did not know immediately.
Later that day I requested to go to the asharm where the Turmeric
Clad Swami had come from. Off we went through the Pashupathinath aarti, early
evening. About 20 minutes later after all the stairs up, we came across a
temple that resembled my Bhagavan Nityananda’s Samadhi Shrine in Ganeshpuri as
well as his temple in his first ashram at Kanhangad, South India. I stood still
hoping to meet the young swami again. Instead, I was taken inside, the dim
candlelight did not shine brightly enough as I was guided to a set of stairs
that led to a loft where the kitchen was. We were asked to sit during the
aarti. With my head resting on the wall behind me, I had the instant
recognition from the pounding of the drums and the tone of the Bell ringing … I
was IN Ganeshpuri. This was my Bhagavan Nityananda. I could not explain but had
heard that Bhagavan Nityananda was Matchendranath. He was also Krishna and as
the ‘story’ goes, Krishna was Jesus. That’s another Note.
My guide and I came down the stairs while the aarti was still
going on as he wanted to get back to our camp. As we passed around the Temple
watching the Bell ringer, who had matted hair down to his rear, we started off
the same way we entered, but something stopped me. I turned around and said, “I
can’t leave, my guru is HERE”. He could not understand and I was not able to
speak further.
So he sat with me as I gazed off at the temple steeple. After some
time, the swami monk from earlier came near. He spoke and I could not hear him
with the bells rigning, or with my predisposed amazement at the recognition
that this was Really my Bhagavan Nityananda. I motioned something I don’t
remember. He smiled and off he went.
When I got home to Ganeshpuri, I was Still in Nepal. I was
completely changed and could still see the river I sat by for a week doing my
guru gita and staring across at the cliff with the monkeys meandering about
doing their own kind of yoga ~
My monk said I met my master in Nepal and his job was done.
I am looking forward to discovering just who this master is. Was
he in the Guru Rinpoche cave that I sat in doing my practice for all sentient
beings and reaching up to lay my hand where his hand had made an impression in the rock? Is it Baba
Sunil, the white Aghori monk from the Goddess Cave who reminded me so much of
Tilopa? Will it be the High Lama on the Tibetan Buddhist side of my lineage? Or
was it the old man who was crippled, who landed right in front of the goddess
cave. When I fed him and gave him water, he invited me to a place where I could
‘really’ do my 40 days of penance? The monk is not telling me, as usual he
plants the seeds and destiny does its own work.
‘Don’t force the mind’, Bhagavan Nityananda’s words, spoken by my
monk.
Listen, I am just a simple man who has trampled death and hiv by
ONE Simple Trick. ‘Breathing with Intention’.
Through yoga, one can heal Anything ~ That is not MY promise. That is the truth of the human being.
We have infinite abilities ~ Time will reveal and time has already revealed …
with sincere hope you will reach out and ask me anything about this gift of
yoga that could one day bring you perfect health ~ shaktim
Ps I am still working on the Ketchari Mudra and have no plans to
cut my tongue as the Hatha Yoga Pradipika suggests. And the swami who ‘showed’
me this can be done, said he did NOT have to cut his tongue.
I would like to share this link describing Gorakh Nath a little
better.
The life of Siddha Guru Gorakhanātha is no less mystical than those of
Vedic sages like Vaśiṣṭha, Vyāsa, Śukadeva. Born and brought up from the blessed ash of Śrī Guru Matsyendranātha, he is a Master
who represents the dazzling heights of the path to immortality. His writings
are also readily available. An example of his creative verse follows:
“O Devi! No
accomplishment can result without travelling through the celebrated path of the
realized masters – the suṣumnā. Behold the results of this journey. First, all
kinds of ailments are annihilated. Then the grossness of the body elements is
destroyed. The moon is harmonized which continues to pour out the celestial
ambrosia; and the fire unites with air to purify the grossness in totality; a
variety of nāda are heard, the body and skin become supple. Being victorious
over the earth element the yogi gains the power to soar across the universe. He
becomes omniscient. His body is beautiful and radiant like that of Kāmadeva,
and is swift like the wind. He breaks the limits of the three worlds,
accomplishes all siddhis. As camphor dissolving into the air/fire is purged of
its own grossness; with the ego too being dissolved fully into God, the
rigidity of the body is destroyed (thus the consciousness does not remain
confined to the body only). A yogi being omniscient, omnipotent, liberated, all
encompassing and emancipated from the cycle of life & death remains in the
world of his own free will.”
The path shown by Guru Gorakhanātha starts from devotion to one’s Master,
which melts the impurities in the mind and the heart and makes them vessels fit
enough for the yogic endeavor.
The further stages include entry into the suṣumnā and hereafter an
indescribable, esoteric journey of the aspirant ensues which has been vividly
charted in the literature of the Siddha Tradition.
“my path began in 2001 when I called out to the Universe, “Who am
I”. within weeks I met Mark
Griffin, my guru above all gurus as he was the one who sparked the awakening of
the Kundalini Shakti, the power of the human being to transcend disease and
death. A profound journey of healing what was and is supposed to be a fatal
disease, I am forever grateful to this divine siddha, Guru Mark and his
unending love and grace. Jai Nityananda.” shaktim
Bhagavan Nityananda, Gorakhnath, Matsyendranātha,
Mark Griffin, Kalu Rinpoche, Kopan
Monastery, The Monk, Aghori Baba Sunil, Pashupathinath, SuryaGhat, Ketchari
Mudra, Hatha Yoga, Healing
